The October Forecast by Geraldine Balcazar

Meeting my mother artist

My two year has just fallen asleep. I can talk now. Are you still free or have I missed the window?

Becoming a mother artist has bought with it lots of new. A new vocabulary around time. A new sense of time. An immense appreciation and respect of time. A loss of time.

Time has shifted and a concept I took for granted as a maiden. The transition from artist to mother artist continues to teach me new ways of prioritising time to regenerate from the demands of motherhood.

I continue to need to be an artist. To think and talk like an artist. To continue making, collaborating, learn and unlearn and discover from each work i immerse myself in. As a relatively new mother there is a long pause after this desire as i no longer say yes at the drop of a hat when new work is offered. Another layer. I no longer make art in the same way I use to.

Birthing has transformed me.

I have changed in as much as i have out. My enquiries and curiosity on art making now more then ever are life lasting enquiries. Longevity. How can my research, my work and my dance hold space for and nourish those witnessing and being part of it? How can we further connect and do art together?

Time. Process. Play. Holding.

Improvisation, Meditation and Somatic Practice have been my support systems as a performer.Supporting longevity as a dancer with a deeper awareness of the unknown. Today, I sense and value time differently. In training, in conversations, in sustenance and in support of my whole body being. As a mother time constantly reminds me of the importance of looking after myself. Self care is something i hear often in becoming a parent. Spas and massages where what i first imagined when i heard this as a new mother. Self care today (after 2 years and 9 months of being a mother) is slowly transforming into the importance of how to nourish myself by attending to what gives me pleasure. Dancing and dancing with others gives me immense pleasure. So does getting lost in research that moves me. Seeing my little person laugh and laughing myself also gives me pleasure.

What has kept me going while being away from the studio, the theatre, the collaborative space? My child. My partner. My Sister. My family. My practice. The support of incredible unique individuals who show up to support us parenting without any questions or conditions. (holding the vulnerable space we often find ourselves in as parents). Training in Body Mind Centering with Alice Cummins and receiving a deeper awareness of the body systems. This practice has held me, transformed me and inspired me. Dancing, reflecting and chatting with Meredith Elton. Slow conversations with artists.

My practice and process transformed as i gave birth to a new me. Parenting just like art places me in vulnerable spaces of not knowing. There is an excitement i feel in this not knowing in the context of art yet when it comes to parenting not knowing can be frightening. Giving myself permission to not knowing has given me a deep sense of trust, intuition, availability and access to deep wisdom: all part of art making and motherhood.

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MEET THE ARTIST:

GERALDINE BALCAZAR

Geraldine Balcazar is a dancer, movement artist and mother working on research-based choreography. Born in Chile with a history of Chilean Ancestry. Her roots with Chile are strong, a place she feels ongoing connection and disconnection with. Her memories of the country she grew up in are alive, vivid and clear.

Performance making has provided her perspective of the world and an invitation to imagine and be curious of her past, present and future.

She continues to research the body and mind as support, in her parenting, child's development, relationships, performance making and connections with audience. She is currently studying in the B.M.C Somatic Educator Training with Alice Cummins, dancing in conversations with Meredith Elton, sharing practice and motherhood with Ade Suharto and making time and space to have regular slow conversations on creativity.

www.geraldinebalcazar.com